I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
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just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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