He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
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I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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