Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We named our party play list daddy issues
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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