Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize