I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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