Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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