Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize