I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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