Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize