it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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