But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
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I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
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Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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