meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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