Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize