I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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