Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize