State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
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Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
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I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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