Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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