Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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