weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize