It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
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The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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