YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You're completely useless in the revolution.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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