Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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