the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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