i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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