you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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