My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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