Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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