Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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