I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
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i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
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stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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