Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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