I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
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For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
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Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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