i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
my liver is dry heaving
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize