these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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