Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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