Texts From Last Night

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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  doesn't he have a GF?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  that just means you have to try harder.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...

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  (808): doesn't he have a GF? (248): that just means you have to try harder. (248): i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or... http://tfl.nu/1qgm
  Replies (5) Good night (988) Bad night (461)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".

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  (847): Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy". http://tfl.nu/atvg
  Replies (19) Good night (949) Bad night (2193) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person

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  (650): ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person http://tfl.nu/h7ls
  Replies (13) Good night (929) Bad night (2335) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together

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  (570): you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together http://tfl.nu/6q67
  Replies (20) Good night (7411) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time

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  (254): I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time http://tfl.nu/rajz
  Replies (21) Good night (8195) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.

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  (714): She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep. http://tfl.nu/k8wl
  Replies (17) Good night (6572) Bad night (2006) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.

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  (405): I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine. http://tfl.nu/ew02
  Replies (8) Good night (3131) Bad night (1003) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata

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  (719): im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata http://tfl.nu/j3vj
  Replies (8) Good night (3220) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.

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  (904): stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit. http://tfl.nu/ijlk
  Replies (5) Good night (1813) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??

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  (518): i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in?? http://tfl.nu/j32d
  Replies (4) Good night (1512) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis

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  (817): She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis http://tfl.nu/sxjx
  Replies (13) Good night (2486) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.

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  (216): I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/0c0z
  Replies (4) Good night (2064) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Found 2 Coors, problem solved.

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  (773): Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that??? (773): Found 2 Coors, problem solved. http://tfl.nu/6q5w
  Replies (11) Good night (1583) Bad night (366)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...

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  (828): nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote... http://tfl.nu/xy7a
  Replies (2) Good night (1131) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.

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  (732): Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age. http://tfl.nu/drps
  Replies (5) Good night (1162) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt

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