So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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