Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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