i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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