every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize