miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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