Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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