Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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