She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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