Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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