your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
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and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
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I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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