Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i think my mom watched the whole time
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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