I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize