She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
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I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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