Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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