i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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